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• Before and after school

• In the classroom

• Outside the classroom

• Friendships

• Sensory

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Before and after school

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• Difficulty going in to school because of anxiety due to needs not being met

• Overwhelmed by the effort of masking at school. Meltdowns or shutdowns seen at home after school to let off tension

• May get by in primary school but moving to secondary school becomes overwhelming 

• Appears frequently tired and needing down-time when after school

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In the classroom

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• Reported by teaching staff to show ‘good behaviour’ and to be ‘managing ok’. They often doesn’t ‘cause trouble’ or attract much attention

• Likes specific, literal instructions

• Perfectionist – hates getting things wrong but struggles to understand what’s expected

• May be academically able

• Dislikes group work - finds groups easier when they include their close friend. Usually prefers working on their own so they have autonomy and control. 

• Bothered by mistakes - will correct teacher and parents/carers; strong desire to be right

• Gets bored waiting for teachers to explain topics to others that they’ve already grasped

• May doodle, fiddle, fidget, not look at teacher or appear to daydream because it helps them focus and listen

• Annoyed and distracted by unrealistic scenarios in hypothetical problems – eg 'John has 143 apples'

• Finds transitions in the day (eg between classrooms) difficult 

• Finds sudden changes to usual routine or timetable difficult – eg around Christmas, beginning and end of term, transition to secondary school

• May find it easier to chat to teachers or other adults that they like, than to peers

• Finds it hard to understand social hierarchy 

• Finds it very difficult to focus on subjects or tasks that they do not like or find interesting

• Finds it difficult to ask for help or to express any needs in the classroom, eg:

  • May use compensation techniques to disguise difficulties from teachers 

  • May be unable to use strategies like 'time out' cards because of anxiety

• Unwilling to do homework unless they understand the reason for it

• May not raise a hand in class or be reluctant to speak when called on. 

• May experience less difficulty and anxiety if seated with a friend, and if the seating doesn’t change

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Outside the classroom

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• Dislikes PE because of lack of structure/discipline, confusing rules, and sensory, hypermobility or coordination issues

• May be uncomfortable with unstructured time at school and need support for these times more than lessons

• Can find lunchtimes difficult, eg:

  • ​Slow eater

  • Food has to be eaten in a specific way or specific order

  • School lunch is different from home

  • Cutlery is different from home and harder to use

  • Other children are distracting

  • Other children finish faster and they want to go out to play with them instead of eating alone

  • School policies around what and how much lunch has to be eaten by pupils

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Friendships

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• May prefer their own company

• Can look to a casual observer that they are playing in a natural way, but in reality may be mimicking peers' behaviour consciously to fit in

• Focuses on one particular friend and finds it difficult to share them with others

• Very uncomfortable with conflict

• Finds playtime difficult because of lack of structure and unpredictability

• Finds it difficult to choose between different friends to play with – very worried about hurting others' feelings. Can overlook their own wants and needs to appease others.

• Likes leading games and finds it difficult to play according to someone else’s rules, or to change the game suddenly

• Can appear to be quite passive because that seems like safer ground, socially

• Isolated and sometimes bullied for being ‘different’ or not playing in the ‘expected’ way

• Often very compliant and wants to 'please' peers, but confused by social norms. Can be manipulated by others to do extreme things in order to be socially 'accepted'

• Doesn’t like others breaking the rules, and will police other children if they are. The concept of ‘telling tales’ is confusing 

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Sensory

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• Finds aspects of school uniform (or other clothes) difficult or impossible

• Can be distressing to eat in the dinner hall due to the sensory aspect of smell and so many people 

• Finds assemblies difficult due to proximity of so many people

• Startled and scared by teachers suddenly raising voice

• Finds noise of busy classroom overwhelming 

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What next?

• Read the Autistic Girls Network's White Paper, 'Keeping It All Inside', which also has a more detailed list of traits​

• The traits of neurodivergent girls at home

• The Autistic Girls Network's ideas for possible reasonable adjustments at all schools

• Ask your Daisy's school to teach neurodiversity in the classroom with the free LEANS resource

• Other roles models and organisations who can help

 

Please note, this list is not for making a diagnosis. It is not intended to represent the experiences of all neurodivergent young people.